Saturday, October 22, 2011

And, we've been here before, too! (Good News)

So I should have posted since the last post, because there is actually great news to share.  I’m still pregnant!  In fact, I’m past the 17 week mark and going strong.  LOTS of ups and downs to get to this point, and I’m not really enjoying being pregnant.  That’s actually an understatement.  As much as I realized pregnancy is hard work during Stella’s pregnancy, I just wasn’t prepared for how much harder it is the second time.  I’m trying not to complain (and not totally succeeding, as you can see J).  We are unbelievably thrilled that we get to do this a second time.  It really didn’t look like it was going to be successful back in August and it wasn’t until later in September that I saw my OB for the first time.  That’s a long time from the transfer in early July! 

This baby is truly a gift of grace, coupled with the miracles of modern reproductive technology and the power of prayer.  I absolutely believe with all that I am that the prayers we received made the difference in this embryo implanting and growing and us getting to this point.   

Pregnancy at 40 is not for the faint of heart.  Plus, I had not factored in the fact that we now have a toddler to care for.  No more coming home from work and just lying around all evening before going to bed early.  Now it’s the non-stop routine that we’d become used to, with the added physical stresses for me.  Tim is also working full time (another blessing), but along with that comes the stresses of developing curricula for 5 classes and teaching 3 classes in a period 4 times a day.  He’s also realizing what most teachers know and many parents don’t – namely that much of his time is spent doing paperwork for the state and the school documenting things and tracking stuff that may or may not have much to do with what he’s teaching the kids.  We knew this year would be tough, but the reality, coupled with a difficult pregnancy is very energy intensive.  I’ve picked up more of what he had been doing when work wasn’t so consuming for him and all of it leaves little time for us together or to do much other than just get the basics done.  We’ll survive, but can’t say as I’m having a good time! 

The other thing that surprised me was how depressing it is to gain weight and see my fit and slim body go by the wayside again.  I worked so hard to lose the weight I gained with Stella – and all the weight that came on with the 2+ years of fertility treatments and miscarriages before her pregnancy.  It felt so good to be healthy, not hormonally crazy and fit.  I know I’ll get that back, but it still makes me sad to lose it.  It’s lost for the most awesome reason, a new member of the family, and it is still difficult.  As usual, my hormones are so out of whack and I feel a little bit hysterical all of the time inside my head.  I have to work really hard just to not be that crazy pregnant lady (especially as I’ve just started telling people at work).  Some days I just don’t have the coping skills I usually have – and I’m usually pretty good at finding the upside and creating positive situations.  Losing that is almost as hard as the gaining weight!  At least the touch-and-go type physical symptoms that had me calling the doctor’s office once a week have abated and all I’m left with are the headaches, joint aches and fatigue -- the normal stuff that most people experience and seem to be able to push through.

Pre-natal yoga starts on the 31st.  I hope I like the instructor as much this time as I did the last.  For Stella’s pregnancy it was what got me through, so I’m very glad to be doing it again.  I’m also taking Stella to swim lessons on Saturdays and that’s good for me to be in the water as well.  She’s iffy on them.  Some weeks she enjoys them and seems to be getting more comfortable in the water, and other weeks are like today where she didn’t want to get water anywhere near her face.  We’ll keep going, keep it light and I hope she begins to be more comfortable in the water.  She does like going to the Y, though and is always excited to get in the car.  Maybe there is hope yet! 

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